00:01
Hi and welcome to understanding
myself as a negotiator.
00:05
In many of the other lectures,
we focus on some of
the process skills
and some of the
theories of negotiation.
00:14
In this particular lecture,
We're going to look at
if you are able to understand
the need for strategic thinking,
we're going to
focus on our self.
00:24
We will also become a little more
familiar with the skills needed
to be a successful negotiator.
00:31
You will develop a sense of
what your own personal style
in a negotiation is
and you'll be able to fulfill
some of the basic
expectations people have
when they're sitting around
the table negotiating.
00:44
Now, we know that the studies
are negotiations focus
on two different
aspects of negotiation.
00:50
One is the science
of negotiation,
the theories, the approaches,
the analytical aspects,
and the different paradigms
are models of negotiation.
01:00
In this lecture,
what we're going to do
is focus on ourselves
what we call the
art of negotiations,
the skills that are needed in
helping us to be more creative
and be better listeners.
01:14
Now one thing I want to say
is from the very beginning
you are already a negotiator.
01:21
Not only are you a negotiator
you are a successful negotiator.
01:25
You know why?
Because you've been doing it
from the day you were born.
01:30
And just imagine
that the first two
years of your life,
you are not able to speak
and communicate your interests
your needs or your wishes
yet somehow in your early years,
you are able to communicate
these things without words
and you were able to negotiate
with your own parents
what you needed.
01:53
So most of us have built
inside of us and archive
of repertoire of experiences
about how we are as negotiators.
02:03
More importantly,
we also have built inside of
us our own internal instinct
about what is successful
in negotiation.
02:14
I'd like to give you
a few more reasons
why you should learn
negotiations professionally.
02:19
Number one learning
by doing is fun,
but not necessary.
02:24
We have built up
over 20 or 30 years
an entire archive of
studies and best practices
by the greatest practitioners
around the world.
02:33
You can profit
from those studies.
02:36
Number two.
02:37
Our main goal should be to maximize
the potential of every negotiation.
02:41
If you're leaving
value at the table,
this course will help you to increase
the potential of that negotiation.
02:49
Number three,
by learning a few new ideas,
we can ensure that your outcomes will be
more effective in the next negotiation.
02:57
Number four,
as complicated as problems may be,
conflicts of the future are
becoming even more complex.
03:05
We require new and
creative solutions.
03:07
Here, this course will teach
you how to be more creative.
03:11
And number five,
escalating conflict has consequences.
03:15
If you can learn a few tips
along the way in this course,
you will be able to deescalate
those conflicts and save
yourself a big headache.
03:23
Now, the question we
have for ourselves is
what is strategic thinking?
Strategic thinking,
strategic negotiation focuses
on finding and developing
mutually beneficial opportunities
systemically to create
value for all stakeholders.
03:42
It's very important to realize
that being strategic involves
having clarity of purpose
and quality of relationships.
03:50
It involves maintaining an
overview of what is going on
and thinking in time in terms
of past present and future.
04:00
It also has a very
focused intention
and reflects on the different linkages
with things that are going on at the table.
04:08
More importantly,
it means to strengthen communication
so that what you say is
exactly what you meant to say.
04:17
Now, let's ask ourselves,
What is negotiation?
Is it different
from communication?
Well, you need
communication to negotiate.
04:27
There's absolutely no negotiation
without communication,
but in this course we're looking
at a specific form of negotiation
when we're sitting
around the table
talking to colleagues
about an outcome.
04:41
A negotiation is an interaction
between two or more persons
who seek to, A. exchange
something for example information
B. wish to resolve a conflict
of interest of needs or desires
and C. which to regulate
their future cooperation.
05:00
Now what is an ideal
situation for negotiation?
I believe there are three
conditions in a negotiation.
05:09
Number one the parties have to
have the desire to negotiate
which is greater than the
desire to use power or force.
05:19
As long as people feel they
can achieve more through power,
they will continued to do that.
05:26
Number two parties
have to recognize
that they are in an
interdependent relationship.
05:33
If party A does not feel
that party B needs them.
05:37
They would solve the
problem without them
number thre,
agreement between the parties
that the rules that dominated
their interaction no longer apply.
05:50
If the rules are clear
and we value our
interdependent relationship
and we value the negotiation,
we will continue to have a
very harmonious relationship.
06:02
As soon as the interpret dependent
relationship begins to become unstable
and the rules no longer apply,
there is a need to negotiate.
06:11
Now at this point
you might be asking
what are some of the skills that
characterize a successful negotiator.
06:18
Well,
we have two sets of skills.
06:21
On the one hand,
we have process skills,
on the other hand,
we have interpersonal skills.
06:28
Process skills involve
for example example
learning how to design phases
and integrate logistics
so that the process
does not feel burdened
or cumbersome.
06:40
Another process kill would be
learning how to get the
parties to agree to a problem,
identifying the joint
problem amongst the parties.
06:52
Number three, learning how to sequence
things in an order that builds momentum,
and number four,
very technically,
how does one bargain across the
table with negotiating partners.
07:06
On the other side,
we have what we call interpersonal skills.
07:10
Learning to listen actively.
07:13
Crafting messages in a way that
you send them to the receiver
and it arrives exactly
the way you intended.
07:21
Dealing with the emotions when
they get very excited at the table
or learning to promote creativity
and very difficult situations.
07:31
Lastly and very importantly,
learning to develop
empathy in a negotiation
and that having empathy does
not mean reaching agreement
is a very important
skill to have.
07:44
Now I'd like to turn to what our
personal styles are in a negotiation.
07:51
We know from studies that
have been done over years
that there is a
direct correlation
between the relationship
that the parties have
and the issues involved.
08:04
We also know that that
correlation involves
how much am I interested
in cooperation,
meaning how much am I interested
in meeting the interest
of the other side
and how much I'm interested
in being assertive
in my own interest.
08:22
The first thing we
want to look at is
what happens when we don't really
have an interest in cooperation
and we don't have an
interest in the the issue.
08:32
For example, imagine you've
had a very challenging morning
you had to get up,
you were in a hurry,
you we're late for work,
you get to the office, you have
actually the first team meeting
very very early in the morning.
08:45
But you need to check
your emails to make sure
that anything you need
to do today gets done.
08:50
The first email you see is an
email from somebody you don't know.
08:54
They're asking for cooperation,
It involves investing resources
and the emails not very clear
and not very well composed.
09:03
You don't know the person,
and you don't really
understand the issue.
09:08
What would you do
in that situation?
And I tell you what, I would do.
09:13
I probably would
either delete the email
or just leave it there for a
few days until I have time.
09:19
And we all know
that quite often those
emails never get answered.
09:25
This is what we call
avoiding the topic.
09:29
Now some of us are
natural avoiders.
09:32
We don't like conflict,
we don't like raising the issues
because it involves reducing our
aspirations of our own outcomes.
09:42
Sometimes people
think of loiters
are more diplomatic and polite.
09:48
Unfortunately avoiding
can be an obstacle
for gathering information
on what the other
actually needs.
09:58
It passes up legitimate
opportunities to create value
amongst negotiating partners.
10:05
And in some cases if
you avoid too much
it might make the other side feel
like they are wasting their time.
10:12
On the other hand,
there is something
positive about avoiding.
10:16
In some very
important situations,
you might think that it's not
the right time to intervene
and you might want to to wait
until the time becomes better.
10:28
In this situation avoiding to
improve the chances of success
is very helpful.
10:36
Now imagine that you care
about the relationship a lot
and not so much about the issue.
10:43
You have a colleague
in the office
who is always helping you
with every project you do.
10:50
They never asked for anything
and one time they arrive and
they ask you for something.
10:56
In many of these
situations, we tend to do
what is called accommodating.
11:01
Accommodating the wishes
of the other side.
11:04
It is based on trying to
meet the other side's needs
as much as possible.
11:09
Quite often, it's used to end
negotiations very quickly,
but it does have
some weaknesses.
11:16
Sometimes people are
perceived as being too nice.
11:20
Moreover, it can be exploited by
people who are very competitive.
11:25
And when people feel exploited
they begin to develop
resentment and frustration.
11:31
There is a danger that when
someone yields too much,
they may lose support
from their own supporters.
11:39
Now imagine a third scenario,
where you care a
lot about the issue.
11:46
This means you might get a
promotion you might get a bonus
and you don't really care
about the other side.
11:53
Maybe the negotiating partner
belongs to an
external organization.
11:58
You've never met them.
12:00
In this situation,
we tend to be a little more competitive.
12:05
And what we try to do is
to push the other side
as close as possible as to
our own desired outcome.
12:13
There is a tendency to try to make
sure that we dominate the process
through some applying
some pressure,
making sure that we take some
positions, we develop some arguments,
and we don't help the other
side to achieve their goals.
12:27
People who are very good at
competing tend to see the world
as a game or a puzzle.
12:33
They also act well
under pressure
or crisis situations
competing negotiations also
helps to break down the issues.
12:44
Unfortunately,
computers believe that
this is the only way
to solve the problem
and it could lead to
conflict escalation.
12:52
Now if I care a
lot about the issue
and a lot about
the relationship,
I'm going to do what's called
a win-win collaborating.
13:03
This is a moment where we want
to develop a relationship,
joint gains,
be creative and solve the problem.
13:13
Collaborating involves
finding options
that meet the
interest of all sides.
13:19
Persons who adopt a strategy
enjoy problem solving,
they like to get to the
root of the problem.
13:25
They actually enjoy
negotiating and sometimes,
unfortunately, they make very
simple problems more complex.
13:34
Sometimes,
non collaborators such as computers
find it difficult to deal with problem
solvers because of the indirect nature
of problem solving.
13:43
Lastly, we come to the
very famous compromising.
13:48
Halfway between
yielding and competing
between avoiding
problem-solving.
13:53
At the smack center of this
graph, you will see compromising
because it involves a series
of offers and counteroffers
to find the exact midpoint
between the different positions.
14:06
Quite often people try
to use fair standards
and it works well
under pressure.
14:12
Compromises sometimes
can be seen as being lazy
because it always ends up with
the least common denominator.
14:21
Now looking at this
graph one more time,
we can see the five
different styles
that have been tried and tested
throughout the last few years.
14:30
We have avoiding,
accommodating,
competing,
collaborating,
and compromising.
14:38
What we've learned
is that most of us have our natural
tendency to be one or the other.
14:44
But we've also learned
that in an ideal situation,
there is a set of
possible options
that might involve a mixture of
issues and a mixture of styles.
14:56
You might need to
compete a little bit
on a salary negotiation,
but might be willing to yield for
example on the number of vacation days
in order to get that salary.
15:08
You might also be willing to
compromise on the type of work
you would be willing to
do for that organization.
15:13
And lastly you might be
willing to collaborate
on finding creative solutions
to ensure that you have
a work-life balance
in the company.
15:23
The ideal situation involves,
a little bit of competing,
a little bit of collaborating,
and a little bit
of compromising.
15:31
Why is that?
Most people want to
defend their interest,
they want to give a
little to get a little,
and at the same time they
want to solve any problems
that come in the way.
15:45
Now lastly, I'd like to come
to what do people expect
in a negotiations.
15:50
When I sit down,
do I have something in common
with everybody at the table?
Well, number one,
everyone at the table
wants to be successful.
16:02
They want to reach agreement.
16:04
Now some of you might say
that there are spoilers
who come to the negotiation
just to spoil their meeting.
16:09
Yes, but by and large if
you've done your homework
if you have done your
pre-negotiation work,
you will know that everyone at the
table is there to be successful.
16:19
And this can be a common bond.
16:22
Number two,
everyone at the table has a
sense of Fairness of Justice,
understanding what
that expectation is
will help you to reach
a winning solution.
16:36
Number three,
most people do
not want to fight.
16:40
Most people would like a
harmonious successful negotiation.
16:45
Fighting comes with
our perceptions
and our assumptions about the
negotiations are incompatible.
16:51
So working on those in advance
will help to ensure
that we don't have
a conflicting
confrontation negotiation.
17:01
Number four,
everyone at the table would
like to get as much as they can,
they'd like to be able to go home
and say look I achieved my goals
maximizing profit,
maximizing gains,
creating value at the table
can be a common interest
amongst all the participants.
17:20
Number five,
every single person at the table
wants to be heard
and understood.
17:27
I want you to imagine
the last time you were
sitting around the table
and you didn't feel
heard and understood.
17:35
What did happened inside of you?
How did you feel?
Did you close up?
Did you refuse to
negotiate further?
Did you escalate the conflict?
Being heard and understood
is one of the most
basic expectations that
every single person carries
with them into a negotiation.
17:55
And tied to that, number 6,
they want to be heard
and understood because
they want to have
their concerns,
fears and needs addressed.
18:06
What is the point of
going to a negotiation
and walking out empty-handed?
If you can keep in mind
that people want to
reach an agreement
be treated fairly,
not fight, maximize their gains,
be heard and understood
so that at the total
end of the negotiation
their concerns fears
and needs are addressed.
18:29
You're well on the way to
meeting the expectations
of the other negotiators
at the table.
18:35
In conclusion,
I hope you were able to understand
what is needed in
strategic thinking.
18:41
That you have become familiar
with the skills needed
to be successful
in negotiations.
18:46
And that you have now
a better understanding of your
own style in negotiations,
and lastly, you have been able
to fulfill the basic expectations
of the people sitting at
the negotiation table.
18:57
I wish you a lot of success
in your next negotiations.