00:01
Hello and welcome
to men and women.
00:04
Do they really
negotiate differently?
I'd like to preface
this lecture with
a short comment.
00:11
In recent years the role
of men and women in society
have been put
under a microscope.
00:17
From boardroom meetings to NGOs
and business negotiations,
issues of salary,
status,
recognition,
and work-life balance,
and how men and women are
either similar or different.
00:30
Have been the subject
of intense debate.
00:34
No, two societies
around the world
see this issue the same
because it is a human experience
based on our traditions
and our cultural values.
00:45
In fact,
much of the information
that we have
are already biased
by the gender,
the education,
and the cultural background,
of the researchers
involved in studying.
00:57
Gender and negotiations.
00:59
I would like you to At the
very beginning of this lecture
that I hope
that this is only the
beginning of your thinking
about your own role in society
as a man or a woman
and how you respond to
other men and other women
which are both similar
and different to yourself.
01:19
Now through this lecture,
I hope that you will get an
overview of the main issues
in gender negotiation
that you understand,
What is important
both to men and women.
01:30
And lastly, that you can
understand and get a sense of
what you can do for yourself
to actually incorporate
the issue of gender
in your negotiations
successfully.
01:42
Let's start with
what is gender study.
01:46
Gender study is the
research of how roles
in society are constructed
based on our
understanding of the way
men and women should behave.
01:58
Not necessarily how they behave
but how they should behave.
02:02
Some people will tell you men
and women are totally different.
02:07
Others will tell you no,
no, there's no difference.
02:12
Some will tell you,
of course men and
women are different
but you should not
treat them differently
because most of the difference
are experience-based.
02:22
For the layperson,
you could be totally confused,
well, who's right, who's wrong?
Actually it all depends
on your understanding
of how men and women
should be studied.
02:34
What should you do?
You should ask yourself
four simple questions.
02:39
How does my understanding of
gender impact my negotiations?
How does gender manifest itself
in a conflict or negotiation
that I am involved in?
What issues have
a gender component
that might impact our
overall agreement?
And lastly,
How can I deal
with gender issues
when they arise
in my negotiation?
Now at the risk of sounding
a little bit stereotypical.
03:11
There are some
common perceptions
or as I would like
to say misperceptions
about how men are or women are.
03:20
I'd like to go through them because
every time you ask an audience,
these always come up.
03:26
People tend to say that
men are competitive,
aggressive,
confrontational,
their task and
outcome orientated.
03:36
Quite often you hear that
men are not good listeners
and they're not very
emotional and pathetic.
03:42
They focus on power
and autonomy and rights
and most of all their
rational and unemotional.
03:50
Relationship too
many negotiations
are often seen as secondary.
03:57
What about some of
the common perceptions
and misperceptions of women.
04:03
Quite often you were hear,
women avoid conflict,
they are emotional and rational.
04:10
At the same time,
they're very good
at problem-solving
and they do well
in relationships.
04:17
They're good listeners.
04:19
They're active listeners.
04:20
They're deep listeners.
04:23
Also, they're less
abusive, threatening,
and confrontational
in a negotiation
and they're more
willing to trust.
04:31
Now you will might ask
yourself, who says this?
Well, you can hear some
of these both from men
and from women equally.
04:40
Well, what do the
studies actually say
about gender and negotiation?
Well,
the studies are inconclusive
and many of them have
been built on biases
by the researchers themselves,
but nevertheless they give
us a little bit of insight
into some of the things
going on in negotiation.
05:00
The research often says
that women tend to
be less effective
in competitive negotiation.
05:07
They perceive themselves
as less powerful,
tend to make larger concessions,
and excel in listening
and relationship-building.
05:16
At the same time,
men tend to focus
on power and status
are less likely to
share information,
set higher goals than
women in a negotiation,
and are less cooperative
and relational than women.
05:31
I would like to preface
all of this and say
that actually they have
also done other studies
and these studies have been
even more inconclusive.
05:42
Specifically the research shows
that the studies
disproportionately focus
on women's behavior.
05:50
They call it the deficit model.
05:52
It talks about how women need
to aspire to the stereotypes
that men have achieved
over centuries.
06:01
Women's experience and conflict
are not always addressed
and issues for women are
invisible in the negotiation.
06:09
When they've done studies
with all men and all
women you'd be surprised.
06:16
Men and women actually
have the same variety
as the other side.
06:23
So you might be wondering,
why do we even
bring up this issue
in a negotiation course?
Well even in though
men and women
might negotiate differently or
might not to negotiate differently
doesn't really matter.
06:38
What matters is
how does gender manifest
itself in a negotiation
that involves both
men and women.
06:46
Top of the list, compensation,
every single one of
us has to negotiate
compensation and
salaries benefits.
06:55
We know now that women
are actually earning
less than their male counterparts
in comparable positions.
07:02
Is there a gender
component in this issue?
And how can we make that
gender component disappear?
Number two, networking.
07:12
We know from
negotiation research
that most of the crucial
compensations or
compromises that are made
are done through
social networking
when people meet in bars
and restaurants, in
gyms, on the weekend,
on the golf course,
wherever it is people are making deals.
07:32
If we are not invited to some
of these social networks,
we will not have access
to that information.
07:39
Number three.
07:40
We know that supervisors
tend to get all the credit
for whatever is achieved.
07:46
Yet we know that despite making
advances in the workforce
for women across the board
we're still having access to
higher level management
positions for women
making sure that women enter
management and are able to receive
the necessary credit and
recognition for success
is important in a negotiation.
08:07
Number four, mentoring
is an important part of a
development of a career path.
08:13
Making sure
that men and women are
being mentored equally
is going to achieve
success in a negotiation.
08:20
Yet we know that men
and women might hesitate
to enter a mentoring
relationship for fear
that it might be misconstrued.
08:30
There are two more issues
which involve our private life,
in our business life.
08:35
One is called privacy.
08:38
Many of us are
reluctant to talk about
our private life.
08:43
The birth of a child,
different life
stages that we have,
why?
It might be a
little too personal,
it might enter
into our private sphere
and make us feel awkward.
08:57
On the other hand,
talking about our family environment
and how we plan our careers
with a work-life balance
are an issue that is
impacting men and women
across the our society.
09:11
So what can we do to address
gender in our negotiations?
Well, we have four problems
we have to deal with.
09:18
The first problem is that
talking about gender
sometimes creates
uncomfortable or
awkward situation.
09:26
It is not Always
addressed in the practice.
09:29
Often if we develop measures
we run the risk of generalizing
and reinforcing
stereotypes and prejudices.
09:38
As the same time,
generalizing about gender
might push somebody
into a category
and we might forget to treat
that person as an individual.
09:47
Will say something like,
oh he's only doing that
because he's a man,
or of course,
she does that she's a woman,
but we forget
that at this person
is an individual
with their own experiences
and education
and status
and might be doing it out of
their own individual experience.
10:07
Lastly, and very importantly,
men and women,
tend to experience
not only negotiation but
also conflicts differently,
by the simple fact
that they often fulfill
these socially
constructive roles
that are created
for them in society,
they have their own
unique experience.
10:30
Making sure that we deal
with these experiences
in their totality will help
us overcome this problem.
10:39
Here are some tips
on how to address
gender negotiation.
10:43
Number one,
in the planning stage
assess your negotiation for
any gender triggering issues.
10:51
Number two.
10:52
Do your homework
on those issues,
find out what the
experts are saying
that can be done to neutralize
any suspicion of gender bias.
11:03
Number three,
create transparent criteria
on gender related issues.
11:09
Number four,
develop clear target expectations
in competitive and
problem-solving negotiations,
and number five,
develop a policy
for assessing recognition.
11:22
Put these together
and you will be able to
neutralize any gender biases
in your negotiation.
11:30
Just to summarize,
I hope you have been able
to receive an overview
about gender and
negotiation issues
that you understand what kind
of issues are often linked
to men and women
and that you've developed
a sense of what you can do
as a man or a woman
in your negotiations.
11:51
Finally,
It might be that you
have never thought about
whether men and women
negotiate differently.
11:58
You might even see some benefit
in using your own gender.
12:01
Why not?
Many people see it
as an added value.
12:05
Oh, he's a man.
12:07
I might be able to send
somebody who he likes
or just the opposite.
12:12
She's a woman.
12:13
I can relate to her.
12:15
I think I can get more.
12:17
We all have these thoughts,
whatever your experience
is with gender
in a negotiation scenario,
it is important to be aware
that our society.
12:27
He has not only created
stereotypes and assumptions
but also expect them
to be fulfilled by us.
12:35
While studies are inconclusive
most have debunked the myth
that men are naturally
better negotiators.
12:43
Experience and studies
point to a rich diversity
of negotiation
with many different individuals
who carry not only their gender
but their culture,
their social status and their education
with them on their shoulder
into a negotiation scenario.
13:03
It might be better to
focus less on gender
and more
on how these differences
might manifest themselves.
13:12
Under estimating someone
based on their gender
might actually cost you
some wins in a negotiation.
13:20
On the other hand,
overestimating them
might put you under
a lot of undue social
political and economic stress.
13:28
Remember, clarity of purpose,
quality of relationships,
combined with empathy and professional
strategic negotiation behavior,
will always, I repeat, will always
lead you in the right direction.
13:45
Thank you very much.