00:01
In this lecture, you'll learn how to use
freestyle scripting to address a variety of
different circumstances at work, as well as
what a lead in line is and how to construct a
proper lead in line to open conversations.
00:12
And finally, you'll learn how to address
challenging behavior at work using simple
duct tape tactics.
00:18
Let's start out by talking about freestyle
scripting that you can use to address
unwanted behavior at work.
00:24
The first script that I'll give you today is
a script that you can use not just at work,
but you can use it in your personal life as
well.
00:30
I use it a lot when I need to deliver a
difficult message where the substance of the
message is, Here's the behavior you engaged
in.
00:38
Don't do that again.
00:40
Instead, do this.
00:41
All right. Or let's say I'm at a restaurant
and I got poor service, and I need to
tell either the management or the waiter
that I wasn't happy with my service, and I
want something in exchange for the poor
service I got.
00:54
A script like this can be used in those
types of situations and in a variety of
situations. The IOU script is a freestyle
script that again
helps you get the thoughts from your brain
out of your mouth in a way that has been
proven to be clear and effective, meaning
many of us, when we have to have those
difficult conversations.
01:13
You know what it's like when someone who
isn't a polished communicator or hasn't
practiced his or her skills has delivered a
difficult message to you.
01:21
And you walk away thinking, What was that all
about?
I have no idea.
01:26
When you use a script to frame your
thoughts, it increases the likelihood that
your message will be clear and the people
will walk away knowing exactly what it is
that you wanted to say.
01:35
And it increases the odds that you'll find
that middle ground of assertive behavior
between passive and aggressive.
01:41
When you use this script.
01:43
Remember that before you deliver the script,
which is really the meat of your message, you
want to first construct a lead in line and a
closing line.
01:52
But we're going to be talking about that
after we talk about the meat of the message,
the script. The IOU consists of five
simple parts.
02:02
Again, there are many scripts for many
different situations.
02:05
This script is designed to help you deliver
a message that basically says, Here's
what you did, here's why that's wrong,
here's what I want and here's what you'll
get. All right.
02:14
So let's start off with the first part of
that type of message.
02:18
The A actions you need to tell somebody in
this part of the script,
here is what you did.
02:24
But we want to be specific.
02:26
We're going to talk about some danger
phrases and power phrases for scripting,
especially when you're trying to elicit a
change in behavior.
02:32
But the A four actions should be one
sentence.
02:36
Remember, if there is a a variety of
behavior that you want to change in someone
else, one behavior at a time is going to
increase the
odds that you'll see that change that you'd
like.
02:48
Many of us know what it's like when we make
the mistake or when someone has made the
mistake with us of addressing a whole lot of
behavior at one time.
02:56
It tends not to be effective.
02:58
So, for example, if I have an employee that
comes in and I'm a new manager and the
employee is late again and we've had this
talk before, remember,
again, most of us most of the time think
we're
saying something other than we're thinking.
03:13
The average person over 50% of the time is
really saying something other
than they believe they are saying.
03:20
For example, if I were to ask the average
communicator after they said something,
for example, let's say the average
communicator says, John, I'd like you to be
at your desk by the time the clock hits
9:00.
03:31
If I were to say to the average person after
they said that.
03:35
Dave, did you just say, John, I want you to
be at your desk by the time the clock hits
9:00? The average person will say, well, not
exactly because we
normally aren't aware what we're really
saying.
03:46
And so if you repeat back to the average
person, what they say, most of the time
over half, they'll say, that's not exactly
what I said.
03:56
Keep that in mind, because one of the
benefits of scripting is many times we think
I've told them that a million times I've
said just that.
04:04
But chances are if you're not using a
script, you're not really saying what you
think you're saying, and a script helps you
keep on track.
04:11
So the A is John.
04:13
Here's what you did, for example, not John.
04:16
I notice that you're coming in late a lot or
John, sometimes you come in late.
04:20
It's more along the lines of John Yesterday
you came in to work at 9:00 when your
scheduled start, time is 8:45.
04:27
That's clear. One sentence describing the
actions because remember, we want to describe
behavior, not people.
04:34
We're addressing behavior, not people.
04:38
E You want to give the effects of the
person's actions, meaning here's what
happened, because you did that.
04:44
Now, sometimes we don't deliver this part.
04:47
We think we do, but we forget to tell
somebody because you did this, this
was the effect.
04:53
You were the cause of this effect.
04:55
And if you can articulate to somebody what
the effect of their actions was, it will
increase the likelihood of the change in
behavior that you're going for.
05:05
For example, John, yesterday you came in at
915 rather than 9:00, which is your
scheduled start time. Therefore, your
coworkers had to cover for you and they're
not paid to do that. Once we have done that,
move along to the AI.
05:18
The AI is I want this for example.
05:22
Now I know that I've mentioned I want is
going to be a danger phrase under normal
circumstances. But for your planning
purposes in the AEIOU
script, the I is when you're going to tell
somebody, Here's what I'm asking for right
now, for example.
05:38
You need to be at your desk by the time the
clock hits 9:00 with your green ready light
on your phone. That means you're on time.
05:45
We really want to be specific when we're
telling people what we want.
05:49
You may know what I mean when I say we're
really good at telling people what we don't
want. We're really good at saying, Stop
coming in late.
05:57
Stop talking to me that way.
05:59
Stop doing this.
06:00
However, remember that the brain doesn't
process information when we put it in that
type of syntax.
06:06
When we use syntax that says, I do not want
this.
06:10
We do not get the same result as we would if
we were to instead say, I
do want this.
06:17
So the I part is when you tell somebody,
here's the behavior, I would like, for
example, I'm going to put it all together so
far.
06:24
John, yesterday you came in at 915 rather
than 9:00, which is your scheduled start
time. When you do that, your coworkers have
to cover for you and they're not paid for
that in the future.
06:33
Ensure that you're at your desk with the
green light on your phone by the time the
clock hits 9:00. That means you're on time.
06:39
And now we come to the O, the o is the or
else this is the point where
if you need to tell somebody, Hey, I'm
giving you a heads up, if you do this again,
you're going to suffer these consequences.
06:52
Now is the time to do that.
06:54
Hopefully you don't have to tell anybody
that.
06:56
But there are times where we do.
06:57
For example, if you're a new manager and you
need to tell somebody, or if you're an
experienced manager and you need to tell
somebody, hey, if you engage
in this behavior again, I have no choice but
to deliver these consequences.
07:10
You do it now. For example, John, if you
come in late one more time, I'm going to have
no choice but to add that to your employee
record.
07:17
And if I do that, you're not going to be
eligible for the promotion or the raise that
I know you have your eye on.
07:23
And now is the most important part of the
entire script, the you
what you will get.
07:30
This is the part that most people forget to
add to their scripts.
07:34
Most people aren't using scripts.
07:35
And when you tell somebody, I would like a
change in behavior and you don't
tell them what they will get out of it, you
have dramatically decreased the odds that
you're going to see that change in behavior.
07:47
As a savvy communicator, remember that
benefit statements are key in a variety of
different circumstances.
07:53
This is one of them.
07:55
If you can, at the end of your script,
deliver a powerful benefit statement that
motivates the person to whom you're
delivering the script to do what it is that
you're asking to do in the long run.
08:06
If you get into that habit delivering
benefit statements, benefit statements,
here's what I'd like. Here's what you'll
get.
08:12
Here's what I'd like. Here's what you'll
get.
08:14
You will see that in the long term, you will
get a dramatic increase in the
results that you'll find.
08:20
You'll get a dramatic increase in the amount
of people that do what it is that you're
asking them to do, as opposed to the average
communicator who does not deliver a benefit
statement at the end of a request.
08:30
But I'd like you to keep in mind, when
you're formulating your benefit statement,
keep the person's social style in mind.
08:37
For example, John, if you can come in on
time from now until the end of the year,
what if they are a analytical type?
What would they be most likely to respond
positively to?
If they are an expressive type, what would
they be most likely to respond positively
to? And as we've discussed, those might not
be the same thing for
each personality type.
09:01
I mean, if I were to say, for example, to a
driver type and if you can come on time from
now until the end of the year, your
coworkers would appreciate it and it would
strengthen the relationship that you have
with them.
09:12
Would they care about that?
No chances are a driver would hear that and
think to themselves.
09:20
I'm not here to make friends, but okay.
09:22
However, if you were to say that, to what
type would it be most
motivating? The amiable type tends to hear
things like that and think,
okay, yeah, I do want to strengthen my
relationships.
09:35
And remember that for a lot of men, if you
can't think of a
benefit statement, I mean, really many times
it's difficult for us to think of a benefit
statement, but if you can't think of one.
09:45
For many men, more men than women.
09:48
If you simply say, and we will not have to
discuss this again, we will not have to have
one of these talks again. That's a big
benefit for a lot of men or left brainers.
09:57
Most men tend to be left brainers.
09:59
But remember, use a script when you need to
deliver a difficult
conversation. A I owe you.
10:06
Here's what you did.
10:07
Here's why that's wrong.
10:09
Here's what I'm asking for and here's what
you'll get or what you'll avoid.
10:13
Keep in mind, if you cannot think of a
benefit statement, do not have the talk until
you can. Many times we think, Well, I'm
asking for this and I'm just going to ask for
it. I don't know what's in it for them.
10:25
If you can't articulate, here's the benefit
to you don't have the talk until you can,
because I would not respond well if somebody
were to, especially at work, ask
me for something and tell me I'm not getting
anything for what they're asking for.
10:39
That's why we're at work, right?
So if you can't think of a positive benefit
statement, you can
sometimes get away with talking about the
pain that they will be avoiding.
10:49
So if you can't say, Oh, here's what you'll
get, you can sometimes instead say,
Here's what you'll avoid.
10:55
And that's pretty good for a lot of people.
10:57
And remember that when you're delivering a
script, especially when you're asking for a
change in behavior using generalizations,
generalizations, or things like
always, never, sometimes.
11:08
Occasionally they sabotage the entire
message that comes after it.
11:11
And you know what I mean? Because a lot of
us at home, we've heard somebody say to us,
you know, you are always or why don't you
ever
or you never?
And as soon as somebody says to us, you
never yada, yada, yada, you
are always blah, blah, blah.
11:30
Every time a yada yada, our self-talk starts
to speed up.
11:35
You know, if my boss were to say to me or if
your boss were to say to you, You know, I've
noticed that you're coming in late.
11:42
Frequently, the average person, when they
hear words like frequently, sometimes, never,
occasionally they're going to start
thinking, What are you talking about?
Or coming in frequently, late just on time.
11:51
Last Monday, nobody noticed that.
11:52
I'm just getting this big talk about I'm
coming in late frequently.
11:54
Remember, our self-talk goes at 800 words
per minute, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. If you
use generalizations, it increases that.
12:03
Be specific and say last Thursday at 5:00,
here's what you did
this morning. You came in late.
12:10
Then the self-talk simply says, Yeah, I'm
busted,
and you'll be more likely to get them to
open up and hear the message.
12:18
And one last danger phrase.
12:20
If you're having a talk with somebody about
something they said that rubbed you the wrong
way, and you're not going to use a simple
hamburger such as when you I feel
because but instead you decide, no, this
requires a much larger script.
12:34
The phrase you said increases self-talk
because remember, more than half the
time, if you say to somebody, didn't you say
or here's what you said, people are going
to think to themselves, I didn't say that,
even if it is exactly what they said.
12:48
So avoid that phrase.
12:49
And instead of saying you said it's not
about what they said, it's about what you
heard. And so if I were to say to you in
this morning's meeting, you said, yada,
yada increases your self-talk.
13:00
If I were to instead say in this morning's
meeting, I heard yada yada, you're
going to be more open to receive that
message.
13:07
Because I'm not talking about you.
13:08
I'm talking about me.
13:10
Another tip if you have to deliver this type
of message to somebody who might be on your
level or a higher level of authority, and
you're worried about offending them.
13:19
Many of us struggle finding the right words
to say, Hey, boss, here's what you
did and here's why that's wrong.
13:25
Can I ask you to stop doing that, please?
That can be very tricky.
13:29
Remember the difference between the active
and the passive voice.
13:34
Keep in mind in this example, when I'm
talking about the passive voice, it's simply
an English grammatical term.
13:40
It has nothing to do with active
communicators, passive communicators,
aggressive communicators.
13:45
It's simply referring to the sentence
structure.
13:49
When you use the active voice, the subject
of the sentence acts, it
does something. For example, you let me
down.
13:57
The ball bounced down the street.
14:00
He kicked the ball.
14:01
That's the active voice.
14:03
The thing at the beginning of the sentence
does something.
14:06
The passive voices were the thing at the
beginning of the sentence has something done
to it. For example, the ball was kicked down
the street by
him. I was let down by you.
14:21
And when you use the passive voice to
describe something, it's a very simple way.
14:24
If you get used to using it, a very simple
way to take the blame off of somebody and
not cast blame on anybody.
14:31
For example. John, in this morning's
meeting, you called me
kiddo in front of my peers.
14:37
And when you do that, you embarrass me.
14:40
That's active. I'm very deliberately saying,
here's what you did right.
14:44
And it sounds like it.
14:45
Instead, if I use the passive voice, I can
take that exact same message and say, John,
in this morning's meeting, I was embarrassed
when I was called Kiddo in front of my peers.
14:54
And I'm saying I was embarrassed because
this was done to me instead of you
embarrassed me when you did this to me.
15:00
Simple, right? For example, if I wanted to
say, John, could you please
in the future do it this way?
If I were to instead use the passive voice,
I could say, John, in the future, do you
think it could be done this way?
It sounds simple right now, but when it
comes time for you to deliver the message, it
can be tricky if you're not used to
distinguishing, identifying and using the
active versus the passive voice.
15:27
So get used to it and watch how it's used in
different places.
15:29
If you haven't had that lesson since fourth
grade, because that's when we tend to learn
about it. And then once fifth grade comes,
we tend to flush that away.
15:36
So you can use that information again and
you'll see it very applicable in day to day
business situations. But you have to be
familiar with the sentence structure and most
of us that's not our favorite part of
English class.
15:47
So get used to it, recognize it, use it and
it can help.
15:50
You have those difficult talks without
casting blame.
15:53
But remember we said before you even
formulate the script,
you must have your lead in line and your
closing line down because we all know
what it's like when we have a manager or a
boss or a friend.
16:08
Come to us and say something at the
beginning of one of these difficult talks
that sounds something like this.
16:14
Hey, John, could I could I could I talk to
you for a minute?
And when people say things like that, we
know right away, bam, and the blink of an
eye. This is going to be one of those
conversations.
16:25
But I'm not really going to pay attention
because you have no power or somebody will
come to us or wait for us when we come home
and say something such as, Glad
you're home, we need to talk.
16:36
And when we hear that type of phrase, most
of us get sick to our stomachs because
nothing good has ever come after that,
right?
No one has ever said, we need to talk.
16:46
I just bought you a brand new car.
16:47
Remember that the lead in line sets up a
conversation so that the person listens to
you and thinks, Oh, I must pay attention now
but doesn't consider you to be too
aggressive. So they close the lines of
communication and does not consider you to be
more passive so they don't pay attention to
your message.
17:03
And a lead in line is so critical because it
helps you not say
things that increases self-talk or decreases
self-talk.
17:12
Remember, with a wrong lead in line such as
John, we need to
talk about what happened in yesterday's
meeting.
17:19
If I set up a conversation like that with an
employee, their self talk could easily go up
to 850 900 words per minute while they're
thinking, Oh my gosh, am I going to get
fired? Am I going to get fired? Am I going
to get fired?
Or if I were to say to a loved one, let's
say my my spouse.
17:34
Sweetheart, I hope you know how much I love
you, but.
17:37
And then move along.
17:39
I love you. But is a delete phrase because
it increases self-talk.
17:43
And people are going to think, what's going
on here?
Are you dumping me? But remember, the
average person is not as confident as we give
them credit for in our relationship.
17:51
Whether it's at work or at home, we tend to
think things like, Oh, they know I'm not
going to dump them. They know I'm not going
to fire them.
17:57
People do not know that.
17:58
And so if you don't set up a conversation
correctly, people will think sometimes until
the very end, how's this going to go down?
What's happening here?
For example, let's say that you are talking
to an employee and you need to talk about
some behavior that they had.
18:12
If you reference the future, you can put
people's mind at ease the whole time and say,
John, I want you to know how much I've
always enjoyed working with you and I look
forward to your future in this company.
18:21
That said, let's talk about this.
18:23
But in normal conversations, under normal
circumstances, when you need to
construct a lead in line, if you're not sure
of the protocol or the words, because I get
as I told you, I get frustrated when I don't
know what are the steps.
18:36
Here are the three steps that you can use to
construct a powerful lead in line that grabs
attention but isn't aggressive.
18:43
Number one, make them short, meaning
sometimes we don't know when to
stop. And so we will be starting a
conversation and we'll say to somebody
something along the lines of, Hey, John, can
I talk to you for a minute about what
happened in yesterday's meeting?
Yeah, it'll just.
18:59
It'll just take a minute, but I just need to
talk to you.
19:02
And we have ruined the whole conversation
with something like that because we weren't
prepared, we weren't polished, and it shows
make them short.
19:10
Part number two, use I language.
19:13
We talk about this a lot in communication
courses and you probably have heard this
before. Make it about you.
19:19
It is, after all, all about you.
19:22
When you open a conversation that's going to
be a difficult one about the other person.
19:26
It's best to start it talking about you.
19:29
I language is not by the way the I language
of the seventies where we had a movement
where people were talking about their
feelings and how they felt, not that type of
language. This language means I'm going to
describe the way I feel at this
moment. So what I want to do is, as I
describe how I feel at this
moment and I keep it short, remember that
when you use somebody's name,
it's magic to their ears, and it does create
just a little tiny drop of
those positive chemicals that we have
discussed, like serotonin.
20:02
And it makes people feel good when they hear
their name just for a moment, just a little
bit. But if I were to put these three
principles together and use a lead in line.
20:09
Such as. John I'm concerned or Mark I'm
frustrated.
20:15
John I'm confused.
20:16
Mary I'm troubled.
20:19
I particularly like the I'm troubled line
because when you say to the average person,
I'm troubled. They think, Oh my gosh, what
about because no one ever uses the phrase,
I'm troubled. And if you use that type of
lead in line, use the person's
name. I'm blank name, I'm
adjective. Mark I'm frustrated.
20:39
You'll notice that people tend to say, what
about and lean into you.
20:44
Open up their posture and pay attention
because people want to help.
20:48
When you say, I'm frustrated, I'm concerned,
I'm troubled, I'm confused, they want to
help. Now, the fact that I'm concerned or
frustrated or troubled because of your
behavior, that's coming up later.
20:59
But we want to first plan the lead in line
now.
21:02
We've done that plan, the closing line as
well.
21:05
Closing lines are simple.
21:07
The purpose of a closing line is to get the
person that you just delivered that message
to, to say, yes, yep, I'll do that.
21:15
Even if you believe that, they don't really
mean it when they say yes.
21:19
Getting somebody to say yes has increased
the odds that they will actually do what it
is that you just asked them to do.
21:26
What I mean by that is you want to get a
yes, not a conversation.
21:31
So if you're looking for a specific yes, ask
a closed ended
question for your closing line.
21:37
We've talked about a lot of different types
of questions.
21:39
A closed ended question is one where you are
specifically asking for a yes or a
no. You're not asking a what do you think
about that or how do you feel about that
question? You're asking something along the
lines of Will that work for you?
Or Can I count on you for that?
Can I count on you as one of my favorite
leading lines?
Because when you say to the average person,
Can I count on you for that?
Even if they don't hear what comes before
it?
Like if you say to the average person, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, can I count on you?
Watch how they'll say Yes you can.
22:11
What it is to agree to, because we don't
want to be thought of as
somebody that others cannot count on.
22:18
You know, you don't want to if somebody were
to say to you, Can I count on you?
You don't want to respond by saying.
22:26
Who? Me? No, no.
22:29
I'm totally unreliable.
22:30
No one can count on me.
22:31
Right. So if you say to the average person
some version of Can I count on you for that?
People will say yes.
22:37
And even if they thought, Oh, rats, I didn't
want to agree to that.
22:40
I don't want to do that. Well, now you've
gotten their commitment and the odds of them
doing it have gone up, and it's all about
the odds.
22:46
So once you have those tools before you walk
into a difficult
conversation, instead of avoiding them, you
can take a moment and say, okay,
here's the protocol.
22:57
If I need to tell somebody X, Y, Z, I'm a
new manager.
23:00
I need to tell an employee to change their
behavior.
23:03
All right? What I'm supposed to do is come
up with the a e I owe you.
23:08
Okay, I got that.
23:09
And then really get down your lead in line.
23:12
In closing line, because if you don't have
those down right, it can sabotage your whole
message. So, for example, a common scenario
for a new manager is he or
she is now leading a team that they used to
be a part of.
23:23
One of the team members keeps coming in late
to meetings.
23:26
It's disruptive. And now that new manager
has the unfortunate
task of telling what used to be a colleague
that they need to change their behavior.
23:35
That's a terrible feeling for most people,
and they don't want to have that talk.
23:38
So they avoid it, don't avoid it, just have
a plan.
23:42
So the plan, if you were to use the AEIOU
script, could sound something like this.
23:47
Lead in line, Mark, I need your help.
23:50
A IOU yesterday, when you came in 10 minutes
late to the meeting, it was
disruptive and it took time out for us to
get back on track.
23:58
Furthermore, we didn't get to hear your ideas
in the future.
24:00
If you could ensure that you're in the
meeting, at your seat with your papers and
everything ready to go by the time the
meeting starts, which is, by the way, 10:00
on Tuesdays, we won't have to have this talk
again and you can get your ideas heard and
people will respect them more than if you
come in late.
24:16
Can I count on you to do that, please?
And when you say something like that, I have
my lead in line, my script, my closing line.
24:22
How could I possibly make the message
clearer?
Now I know I am following the steps.
24:28
I'm following the protocol.
24:29
I know what I said.
24:31
I could repeat it again.
24:32
And the message was clear.
24:34
Not passive, not aggressive, but assertive.
24:38
And the last couple of things we're going to
talk about in this chapter are what
do we do if somebody challenges us, for
example, and we're looking
for a new response?
You know, we've already talked about, for
example, I could ask a magic question to the
average person and say, interesting, why
would you say that to me?
I could use the but rebuttal and say
something such as?
Well, we're not talking about that.
24:59
We are talking about this.
25:01
Let's talk about another strategy that you
can use when somebody engages in
difficult behavior.
25:07
And they may be doing it to challenge you,
but you can use these in a variety of
different circumstances.
25:13
These are, again, duct tape tactics.
25:16
Remember, we talked about the spotlight
question.
25:18
The spotlight question, remember, is used to
uncover and shine light
on passive aggressive behavior.
25:25
When someone says or does something where
you think.
25:29
No, I don't think you're really being nice,
you're being
nasty, but you're just not being upfront
about it.
25:37
We have trouble responding to things like
that.
25:39
Spotlight questions help us ask clarifying
questions.
25:43
John Are you trying to insult me?
John Are you trying to disrupt this meeting?
John Are you trying to say you don't like my
proposal?
But when you have used a spotlight question
and you
think, no, that's just not really getting
there, there's more to it.
25:59
For example, you could be in a meeting and
you could ask somebody, let's say that one of
your employees or a coworker, as you were
presenting your idea, did one of these.
26:10
And didn't say anything to you, but they
were obviously saying
something about you.
26:16
What do we do? And if I were to say to John,
for example, John, are you trying to disrupt
this meeting? John might say something like,
Well, I'm just saying.
26:25
I think that was a bad idea.
26:27
I'm just saying this, that or the other and
actually responds with something other than,
oh, no, no, no, no.
26:33
So now I have a situation on my hands.
26:35
I'm supposed to address behavior in front of
others.
26:38
Try asking a redirect with assumptions.
26:42
Meaning if you need to call someone on his
or her behavior, remember that you also
need to tell people how to behave.
26:49
We can't expect that others know how to
behave with us.
26:52
We always, as assertive, savvy
communicators, have to tell people what the
rules are and what they will get if they
communicate in the manner that I'm telling
you to communicate in. So if I might use a
redirect with assumptions with John, it would
sound like this. John, when you're ready to
speak to me as the professional that I
am, I'll be ready to continue this
conversation.
27:13
And there are many different ways we can use
the redirect with assumptions and many
different things that might come after that.
27:19
For example, I could add an empowering
phrase Are you ready now?
Or Would you like a few minutes?
But if you master first the redirect with
assumptions, you can then use it in a
variety of different circumstances.
27:31
Like with my nephew, I say to my nephew
frequently things such as Amen.
27:36
When you're ready to unlock the car doors,
I'll be ready to take you to the movies.
27:39
And when you use a redirect with assumptions
correctly, remember, it does two things
you're telling people. Number one, the
behavior that you'd like.
27:47
Number two, the benefit that they'll enjoy
once they engage in the behavior you're
asking for. So I can, in front of other
people or in private, say to an employee
who challenges me something like, All right,
well, when you're ready to speak to me as the
professional that I am, I'll be ready to
continue this conversation.
28:04
And I could maybe ask for it to continue
now.
28:07
Maybe I could ask for a continuation later.
28:10
And there are many situations where you can
use redirect with assumptions.
28:13
For example, when you're ready to stop using
profanity, I'll be ready to continue this
conversation. All of the tactics that we
talk about here you
can use at home, you can use that work
because remember that we train people how to
treat us everywhere and the same strategies
that train employees how
to behave. Our strategies that we can use to
train people that we love.
28:35
How to behave, that we can use to train
children, how to behave.
28:39
All communication strategies that are truth,
that work that have been proven to work
in certain circumstances, will work in a
variety of circumstances.
28:48
So take advantage of these tactics, both at
work and at home.
28:51
In this lecture, you'll learn how to address
a variety of different difficult behavior
using freestyle scripting methods.
28:57
You also learned how to open up and close
those difficult conversations using lead in
lines and closing lines, as well as a couple
of duct tape tactics to address a
variety of different, difficult situations.